Ten Rules of Networking

Today I had the good fortune of being invited to speak on networking at the University of Texas Dallas. Kanika Williamson of GE Consumer & Industrial spoke as well. We tag-teamed on a life skills program that featured Kanika's presentation on your personal brand and my ten rules of networking. It was a lot of fun.

So, here are the ten rules I came up with for networking. Now, most of these are used in event situations, but most of the list is transferable to other situations. The ten rules:

1. Have a strategy, be strategic, have a plan
2. Ask, don't talk
3. Have energy
4. Have stories
5. Bring people into the conversation
6. Always be on
7. Know the dress code
8. Be known (who knows you, what you know, who you know)
9. Always carry business cards
10. Be polite

While there really isn't a preferred order to this list, the #1 on my list is #10. without manners, none of the rest means anything.

Relentless

Thanks to Jody Everson and her team at UTD.

The life of your words

Before in this space we discussed a number of rules (or guidelines), chief among them is to be polite and respectful.

And the golden rule really does apply in networking situations, whether in person or on line. Be sure that if you say anything out loud at an event or commit it to the written word (a letter, post, tweet, e-mail, et al), consider that you should be able to say those words in polite, mixed company. And, if they are about or directed to someone, be able to say those words to their face.

To quote the Chief Marketer (chiefmarketer.com) in a recent post: "There's no such thing as anonymity today. People and brands must conduct themselves in the online social world with the expectation that their words will live on indefinitely."

You control your reputation. You control your personal brand. Choose your words carefully.

And, above all, be polite.

Relentless

Prayer

While at lunch the other day, my lead lunch companion asked if we could pray before the meal.

Now, perhaps many of you have encountered this situation. Actually, it comes under the same heading of being a good guest, companion or host. Here are a few things to remember:

• Since she had initiated the meeting, she was essentially the host and it was her meeting (or meal).
• She asked if we could pray. She was respectful of our feelings, thoughts and beliefs.
• I consented because, well, she asked, and I had noticed in an earlier meeting she had taken a moment for silent prayer before the meal.

This is an individual basis situation, but it comes under the heading of good manners--from all parties. We live in a homogeneous world and country and need to be respectful of other cultures, languages and people. Squelch any of those and you run the risk of squashing ideas.

But, remember, it does work both ways.

Relentless

Keep moving forward

As we go about networking and connecting, sometimes this don't always work. Just remember to keep moving forward.

"God is great, beer is good and people are crazy."--Billy Currington

Yes, we can learn from our mistakes and learn from the past. However, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. We can't dwell on what happened; we need to pick up the pieces (and lessons) and move on. The next contact could be the person you need to meet.

Well, they all are.

And it takes time to get to know people and how they think and work....and play, for that matter.

So, in the words of another good friend: "Don't let that set back get you down, go out and conquer something!"

Relentless

Using a newsletter

As a part of my business and networking outreach, my company and I publish a newsletter.

It's a great way to reach out my new-found as well as established contacts. The content is relevant and useful. People can opt out if they so choose. The pluses of using a newsletter:

• Staying in constant, regular contact with your network
• Giving them something useful to read and refer to
• Allowing you to have an outlet for your writing and ability to pass on your knowledge

As for why NOT to publish a newsletter:

• DON'T be a pest--4 to 6 times a year is plenty
• DON'T be overly opinionated--unless the piece calls for it. Most people want to be educated not inflamed.
• Be relevant. If the info is not useful, don't publish.
• Be accurate and attribute the ideas of others if you borrow ideas.

Communicating is good. Don't overdo it or abuse the privilege.

Relentless

Mix it up

At an all-day marketing seminar yesterday, I saw a cardinal rule of networking at work. When there was more than one member of a "delegation" from an attending company, the savvy networkers did the right thing:

They split up.

That's right, don't sit with your comrades. Heck, you see them all of the time at the office or in the work space. Besides, you want to meet and engage new people. You can do that best when you are by yourself and talking one-on-one with a stranger.

And, please note, a stranger in this case, is someone you haven't met yet.

My friend, Melinda Guravich, and her associate, Andrea Kirsten-Coleman, of Mary Kay, do this the best of any corporate tag team I know. Probably because they are exceptional collaborators, they use this rule to their advantage. Rarely do you see Melinda and Andrea seated at the same table at a business meeting. The result is that they come away with more new contacts and information than they would have if they had sat at the same table and engaged each other in conversation.

Relentless

Lesson from a Wedding

A recent wedding reminded me of several things when it comes to networking.

• You are not the center of attention. In this case, the bride and groom.
• Ask, don't talk. Conversations should be give and take and more asking than telling.
• Be polite. Have manners. Say please and thank you. don't talk with your mouth full.
• Know when the evening is over. While you can have a good time, all good things come to an end. Don't overstay your welcome.

These ideas are simple, but effective. While it may be overstating the obvious, we all need to remember why we are in a place and what we should (or shouldn't) be doing. So, go, have a good time. And meet and enjoy people.

Relentless

An investment in time

"Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promissory note and today is ready cash."
--unknown

There is a lot of truth in this quote. The last part is most true: don't lose the value in today. Maybe that's why we call money currency. Think of your networking time in the same way.

At the same time, while yesterday is done, remembering to connect is not a lost art. We do file canceled checks for reference and audit. Don't forget your contacts.

You also need to look forward to tomorrow. That note is there and while it isn't always a sure thing, you do need to plan. Gotta pay on that note.

But today is today. Use it wisely and carefully. Somebody out there is the next person in your network.

Relentless