Being able to talk with anyone

In today's obituary for early television pioneer, Art Linkletter, he is quoted as saying he credited his conservative older adoptive parents with teaching him to be able to talk with anyone.

That's a talent or skill we could all use. Mr. Linkletter used it to his professional advantage in being able to talk with children on his long-running segment of his TV programs, "Kids Say the Darnedest Things." He also knew when to let the other guy, or kid, get the laugh. Because he knew it wasn't about him.

I saw this trait in action in yet another generation this past weekend when I visited my son and daughter-in-law. Jaclyn is one of those people who can talk with anyone. I'd heard the stories of her engaging the strangers next to them on planes to the point of getting a ride home from the conversant. But I had never witnessed it first hand.

We were all walking down by the locks on the Mississippi River in Minneapolis when she walked by a man fishing from the pavement above the river. A freshly caught Catfish in his bucket, the middle-aged black man with the fishing rod was telling this blond girl in pink all about the bait he used and what time of day was best to fish that location.

What was most important about this conversation is that Jaclyn was listening and the fisherman was talking. She proved to me why she is good at sales for the freight company she works for. She had this guy volunteering all kinds of data.

But realize this is not just because she's pretty and blond. Jaclyn knows the tools of a great networker--listening and speaking carefully. Look past the obvious and listen and ask, rather than talking and directing. You just might learn something and get someplace you hadn't considered a destination.

Relentless

The Last Words

Pay attention to last words. Whether it's a meeting with a customer, a lunch with friends or saying goodbye to your mom at the car door as you leave, last words are memorable and important.

It's happened to me for years. I've spent hours with a client over lunch, discussing a project or agreement. It isn't until we got up to leave that he leaned over and said a few key words, such as "you've got the deal," or "the next time we meet...." or something similarly decisive.

It's happened with friends at lunch. We've talked about many things and when the check comes, so do the revelatory words. "The next time we meet,..." or "Remember...."

And, of course, when we part from family. My late mother-in-law was always good about choosing her words carefully when we parted at the door, the car or at the airport gate. Some of my most memorable conversations with her were at these times.

Remember all of a meeting and pay attention to the last moments especially.

Relentless

Observing: More on Building Your Personal Brand

A great exercise in helping define your personal brand is to pay attention to what others say and note what they observe about you.

Our colleague, Robin McCasland of Buck Consultants, says to try this at home: sit with a colleague and use three words to describe each other. On paper:

• Describe yourself in three words
• How do others describe you? (in three words)
• Ask someone to describe you (in three words)

The results might be surprising, but it will give the both of you a simple starting place on who you are and what comprises your brand.

Relentless

Extracted from a presentation by Robin McCasland to IABC Dallas on July 10, 2009

Lesson from a Wedding

A recent wedding reminded me of several things when it comes to networking.

• You are not the center of attention. In this case, the bride and groom.
• Ask, don't talk. Conversations should be give and take and more asking than telling.
• Be polite. Have manners. Say please and thank you. don't talk with your mouth full.
• Know when the evening is over. While you can have a good time, all good things come to an end. Don't overstay your welcome.

These ideas are simple, but effective. While it may be overstating the obvious, we all need to remember why we are in a place and what we should (or shouldn't) be doing. So, go, have a good time. And meet and enjoy people.

Relentless

Stop pitching, start listening

The best quote of the day at a luncheon I attended yesterday was this one:

"Stop pitching, start listening."

The presentation was on freelance marketing communications and how to get into, manage, and stay in the field. Much of teh discussion centered around service, rather than the product one sells.

Hmmm....a common theme....

Let's listen to those who we talk with. Their story will lead you to your story or the conversation you need to have between you. If all you have to offer is a "pitch" then your audience, more often than not, will tune you out before you even start.

While the elevator speech can be a part of that initial conversation, people are really more interested in learning who you are as a person. The more you know about someone, the more you will understand what it is they need or want. Sometimes it isn't evident in a few minutes--it may take hours of conversations and more than one meeting.

While you are "qualifying" leads, stop and enjoy the voyage of discovery with those you engage with. Remember that other axiom:

"You never know who you will work with or for."

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