How to Work a Room

Do you know how to work a room? That is, can you walk into a networking event and connect with the people you need to?

Here's a short primer on how to do just that. With the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, we all be getting needed practice. It is a simple list, really:

1. Have a strategy
2. Network with high energy
3. Know your ideal prospect
4. Pretend this is your home and you are the host
5. Be aware of body language
6. Start conversations
7. Introduce people who can help each other
8. Appeal to the other person’s own interest
9. Move around and move on
10. Have fun!

Know the geography of the room. For example, know how to move within the space and know who is talking with whom (or you will soon figure it out).

Good luck.

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Collaborating and Connecting

It is why we network: collaborating and connecting.

At a recent trade show I had a conversation over a meal with two people in my network. Now, I see these guys for longer periods maybe twice a year. But when we do connect we spend hours together getting the exhibit assembled and show ready at the shows we work together. The important times have become before and after hours.

This most recent meeting was around a great conversation. We discussed their company, their jobs and marketing in general--including some fresh ideas around things they are working on separately from their "day" jobs.

The point is a two-hour conversation between three people over drinks or dinner or breakfast can yield some nuggets of ideas that can help elsewhere. Our conversation centered around marketing a product using social media and video to promote the ideas and not the product. Our exchange was just that--an exchange of ideas and collaboration that helped one of my friends target his audience and introduce some questions he hadn't thought of.

Think of it as "the idea cauldron." See you at the next show, guys.

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The Informal Advisory Board

Over lunch yesterday with a public relations colleague of mine, we talked about how we use or benefit from our networks. My friend told me he uses an informal "board of advisers" at a monthly or quarterly lunch.

I think his recommendation of getting together with colleagues regularly is a great idea: bounce ideas off one another, bring up stuff you can't elsewhere, hear other people's challenges and so on.

My friend's "team" includes client-side practitioners at a utility, a food company, a non-profit and another agency. Their balance of views and ideas results in spirited conversation and a great cauldron of ideas and advice.

Look around you and consider it for yourself.

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The Three "A"s

In a conversation with a physician friend the other evening, he introduced me to a concept I hadn't heard of before.

The three "A"s:

1. Affability
2. Availability
3. Ability

Unfortunately, in the example he used, it was a bit of a negative connotation. In the mill that our healthcare industry has become, in some healthcare systems, this is an order of priority that you have when either getting or choosing a physician.

1. Is he or she affable? That is, can you talk with them?
2. Are they available? Do you have access to them and them to you?
3. What is their ability? This is the scary question because it is listed third....

But what's to say this concept can't be applied to networking and your business?

Are you affable or approachable? Do people like you well enough to do business with you?

Are you available? Will you be there when the prospect needs the service or product? Will you be there when they need it again? Will you back it up?

Do you have the skill and ability the client needs? Really, all three of these elements work together to give you an advantage (or disadvantage). If you can't do the work, why bother with the first two?

Things to think about.

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Social Media and Networking

There are a number of popular press stories lately on social media. Mainstream writers, who haven't already discovered the tool, are now just getting into it and writing about it. And discovering interesting things about themselves, the tools and the reaction to the whole trend.

My neighbor, Rick Wamre, the publisher of Advocate Magazine (www.advocatemag.com) pointed out in his April issues' opening remarks column about how Facebook and Twitter "might hinder us more than they help" us.

He may have a point.

While I am an advocate of social media, many of us are like Rick: note that these things are tools to help you reach out to people, not to shield you from contact. As Rick points out (and he ties the concept well to his lead story), you need to understand the balance of being constantly tethered to "just about anyone and everyone" and being alone and contemplative.

I agree, but with this qualifier: know the balance and strive to achieve it. Like the students the magazine profiled, you need to think in this life. Gather information, study it and take action. Each of those those elements doesn't work well without the other.

A case in point: as a relentless networker, just knowing the events to attend doesn't do any good if you don't go. If you don't have a strategy (study before you go, even), then you're not maximizing the experience. And if you go without knowing the right places to go or why you are going, why go at all?

As with the students in Rick's story, event when you are completely "untethered" you can still make a difference. Think what can be done if you use these tools carefully and strategically.

For Rick's whole column, visit http://www.advocatemag.com/lake-highlands/magazine/Social_media_recluse.html.

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Is Rome Burning?

It is a time and a realization that comes to all of us: is our Rome burning?

That is to say, is our world changing in front of us? Layoff, job change, divorce, pending breakup--and we aren't paying attention? Or at least paying enough attention?

For all we know, we may be doing just the right things at the right time. Pacing ourselves as the changes come daily.

But don't get too comfortable and complacent. That's when things get real bad. Avoid the "real bad" by taking action and thinking clearly.

Get rest, stay on task, keep up as if things aren't changing. Hell, foreclosures take months to happen. But don't let it come to that--call ahead of time and let them know things have changed. Like any good networking action, you'd be surprised by the positive response.

And about your network: don't be afraid to ask, call, stop by and see the people who you know and trust. And don't wait until you're laid off, fired or alone to start this. Do it now and keep it up.

Rome might be burning, but be sure and notice the flames before they get too big. You might be able to control the fire if you do.

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Five unbreakable rules

There are a tremendous number of things we all have to remember as we move through life. But only a handfull are truly unbreakable. Always:

1. Be polite.
2. Return calls.
3. Make eye contact.
4. Have and carry business cards.
5. Keep your resume current.

Well, these are my five unbreakables. Let's take them one by one:

Be polite. Like Mom told you, "do unto others as you have them unto to you." The Golden Rule. People always remember a polite person and never forget a rude one.

Return calls. Somebody (no matter who) takes the time to call you, you need to return the favor. Answer their question.

Make eye contact. People will know you are serious and listening to them.

Business cards. Your calling card is indispensible. "Get back to me" now carries weight because they now know how.

Keep your resume current. There is nothing worse than having to scramble to either make one up or have to search files or your hard drive for the latest version. Your life is a work in progress--make sure the portrait is up to date.

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Stay focused

No matter what, keep your eye on the ball. There are many distractions in this business world and you have to not be distracted by the latest tool, the wrong person or the things that waste time.

Be there and be square.

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The Three Ps

My colleague, Rob Brown, reminded me of another mantra for networkers and business seekers: the three Ps.

• Patience
• Persistence
• Passion

Patience. Good things come to those of us who wait. It is really true.

Persistence. Keep at it. Don't be rude or impolite, but keep at it.

Passion. It's worth your time and energy, go for it and do it with wild abandon.

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Rob Brown is the principal in RDB Consulting, www.rdbconsulting.biz

More on personal brand

From a seminar this morning on social media (where it is critical to manage your personal brand):

We are all brokers of three things:

• Knowledge
• Resources
• Relationships

Equal parts of these are the fuel of networking, marketing and sales.

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Thanks to Sean Piket, president of the Dallas SMEI chapter

Chasing Cherrios

As I look down into my morning cereal bowl, I realize: I am eating alone.

That Ferrazi guy has it right, "Never Eat Alone." It is the best use of time, working through meals. Let's face it, we're all pressed for time and taking time to meet and talk over a meal makes tremendous sense.

You learn a lot about your meal mates: what they like, their basic table manners, and, sometimes, personal things slip out to help paint the whole picture of who they are. As you listen, you learn a lot about who your connection is, especially if they are a potential employer or client.

It really isn't about the meal, either. While you might be hungry, it is about the conversation and the exchange. You might leave the table hungry, but that's okay.

So, look over your calendar and see if you have openings at meal times (all three each day plus two coffees at 10 and 2).

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Connections

It's been said before in this space, but it came up again this past weekend: we really don't know the width and breadth of our networks.

A colleague from my Honeywell days wrote to me. It seems he had interviewed a former client of mine and she was in my network. He didn't know her, but I did. Independently, the candidate/former client had also written to me. Maybe it is a function of time, but the value of knowing both those people and the fact that they are now interacting, makes me remember several facts from earlier columns:

• You never know who you are going to work with or for.
• Don't burn a bridge--you may be standing on it.
• Courtesy is king.

I value the friendship and trust of both of these people and respect their skills and work ethic, as I do the people in my network. You just never know when paths will cross.

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A colleague reports: Who's Got Your Back?

Our colleague, Ann Ranson, recently heard a talk from networking guru, Keith Ferrazzi (the author of "Never Eat Alone"). While Keith was promoting his new book, he did come up with some great ideas important to our networking skills. Ann reports:

"I loved hearing Keith Ferrazzi (this past week) on the Leading News monthly conference call with Patricia Wheeler. He has great energy and passion, and is really into servant leadership – a passion which I share. He has a new book Who’s Got Your Back which sounds great."

"He says that networking is really about relationships, intimacy and generosity. It’s not about working a room. He talked about the importance of developing at least 3 LIFELINE relationships, which he defines as people who have our back:

• People with whom you can let your guard down & be vulnerable.
• People who will do anything for each other’s success.
• People who will be totally honest and will hold us accountable to greatness.

"After you have three, keep working to add one more person – and you must be willing to be vulnerable in seeking and developing these relationships."

"Be willing to ask your LIFELINE relationships the tough questions: how can I be more successful? What do you see that I’m doing that’s preventing my total success? The only acceptable responses are either thank you, or please clarify."

"Prioritize service and generosity…"

Thanks for sharing, Ann. As we have discussed many times, relationships are the key to quality networking and a quality of life.

Relentless

Ann Ranson is a skilled business consultant (www.annranson.com)

Using social media--with caution

As many other networkers are doing these days, I've jumped on the social-media bandwagon. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter,....ah, Twitter.

I just had one of what I am sure are many distasteful experiences on Twitter. I was "spammed"by a follower. One of those, "you-can-make-money-on-the-internet-if-you-buy-into-my-scam" guys. I won't identify him or her here since that would be like giving TV time to a streaker at a baseball game.

If you are using Twitter, be sure and police who your followers are weekly or more often and block them. If you don't know them, trust them or feel it is important for them to be in contact with you, then cut them loose.

Better safe than sorry.

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The Last Words

Pay attention to last words. Whether it's a meeting with a customer, a lunch with friends or saying goodbye to your mom at the car door as you leave, last words are memorable and important.

It's happened to me for years. I've spent hours with a client over lunch, discussing a project or agreement. It isn't until we got up to leave that he leaned over and said a few key words, such as "you've got the deal," or "the next time we meet...." or something similarly decisive.

It's happened with friends at lunch. We've talked about many things and when the check comes, so do the revelatory words. "The next time we meet,..." or "Remember...."

And, of course, when we part from family. My late mother-in-law was always good about choosing her words carefully when we parted at the door, the car or at the airport gate. Some of my most memorable conversations with her were at these times.

Remember all of a meeting and pay attention to the last moments especially.

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Internal and External Networks

A tale of two networkers from this past week.

My brother, Phil, closed on a new job this week using his internal network. He did all the cool things you need to do when you get a lead: researched the company, found out the leadership, did his homework on who does what there, what they do, audiences and customers. He directed his application to the key person he thought would be making the hiring decision. Then he did something else: he consulted his network. In Phil's case, he talked to his internal network: brother, wife, son, friends. They gave him feedback on the next questions to ask, how to ask them, and reviewed what had worked (and not worked) up to this point.

He used his team to help him square his mind on his next decisions and positioning.

My friend and former work colleague, Amanda, also used her network this week to her advantage. Amanda had a first live, in-person interview with a C-level exec from a manufacturer. After the first phone interview, she reviewed what she had said and heard and collected her thoughts. She called on her external network of associates and connections in the same or similar industries, marketing and sales professionals and business owners. This balanced review gave her the confidence she needed as well as armed her with questions and an approach that helped position the meeting.

We all have these circles around us. If you ask, they will help you. Whether it's closing on a job offer or trying to solve a business problem, your network is there to help. And remember, too, you are a part of someone's network as well so you can return the favor.

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Interested versus Interesting

Conversation is a two-way street. However, in the interest of networking effectiveness, you really need to be more of a listener.

Again, to quote the late Walter Cronkite, we need to be more interested than interesting. That is to say, listening, being interested, is by far preferable to working hard at being interesting.

Start a conversation with a question. Guide the discussion toward your conversant. Listen carefully and build on each question. Learn something about who they are and what they do. Where did they go to school? Are they a local native? Why did they choose their career? What's it like to do their kind of work?

You get the idea: this isn't about you--yet. When the conversation turns to you (and it will, if your conversant does what you do), politely answer questions, but go back to them. From your perspective, you'll learn more about them and you by sharing.

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Opinion versus fact

With the passing of Walter Cronkite, the sharing and reporting of information has been discussed. Mr. Cronkite, being the reporter and editor he was, knew the difference between opinion and fact.

Whether it takes written form or conversation, relating information continues to change. Today's world of instant information has put a different spin on things, but, ultimately, the concept shouldn't have changed.

We all need to know the difference between opinion and fact. And corroborated fact. Mr. Cronkite, and my journalism professor, Ted Conover, would agree that you not only get your information from more than one source, that you also make sure that you hear what you're repeating from more than one source.

When we are in conversation with those in our network, we want to make sure we are accurate, ethical and clear in information we are passing along. Whether it is a job lead, information about a company or facts about our host, we must be accurate and honest.

It's only good manners.

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Putting on your game face

Every day that we wake up and go out in the world to engage others, is one more day of challenges. Some more challenging than others.

Friday was one of those. You're at the end of the week and there are still two more events to get to. And you just are about ready to hang it up and be absent.

Well, suck it up and go. Really.

Once you are there, things will be fine. You'll slip into it and it will happen.

How? Put on your game face.

Like athletes and public speakers, networkers have to prep themselves. Think about the arena, who your "opponent" will be, what your game plan is, how you will "score", and imagining yourself in the "win column."

Now, these are great words but they do translate well. Let's try this list if you have a bit of trepidation before heading out to an event:

• Prep yourself by dressing for the occasion. Fresh shirt or blouse, favorite tie, sharp jacket.
• Pack your business cards.
• Think about who will be at the event.
• Once at the event, slip into conversation with something simple like the weather or the menu.
• Take a deep breath and sigh or laugh before you go into the room.
• If the event has a meal, remember this ins't about eating, it's about engaging. Not that you shouldn't enjoy the meal, it's just not a priority.
• Afterward, collect cards and notes and acknowledge who you met. Bot to them and yourself.
• Good job, you did it.

Like the athlete, picture yourself in "victory."

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Persistence

Being persistent to be remembered is one thing. to slip past that and into annoying, is quite another.

Once during an internal interview with Honeywell, I made a point of staying in touch with the hiring manager. I had business reasons to call or talk with him, so I took full advantage. However, when the final gun sounded and they chose another for the spot (it was a geographic decision) I did a debrief with the hiring manager. Bill told me he was impressed with my credentials and approach. He also complimented me on "being in touch to the edge of being annoying".

So it goes with networking. It is one thing to be around and be known. It is quite another to be overexposed.

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