Choosing your words carefully

It has been said that once words leave your mouth that they remain out there forever. Words can hurt of heal and they really can last for a long time, particularly in this new digital age.

Consider this in these two instances:

• When you write
• When you speak

Sure, this is simple. But today, things can be carried around the world in written form or in recorded form. Take for example the LinkedIn recommendation: yes, you can revise it, but once it is published, it is out there for all to read. Remember LI is searchable in lots of ways. So, when you recommend someone, treat it as you would a verbal or other formal recommendation. Use the same rules of thumb: know them, mean it and tell the truth.

When you speak at a networking event, consider what you say carefully. Those who know you continue to learn about you; new contacts are collecting first impressions. Be polite, correct, truthful and chose your words carefully.

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A Powerful Tool: Your Memory

The next time you are at an event, try this exercise: how many names can you remember of the people you've met?

This serves two purposes:

1. When you get home to log in your new-found contacts, you'll be more apt to put in correct information.
2. It also allows you to start the qualifying process of "who was most memorable" among your new contacts.

There are some devices that help you remember:

• Clothing colors or something they wore: that yellow tie, the pretty dress, the guy in the shades.
• Some physical attribute: eye color, hair color, no hair, they were tall.
• Something they said: they went to a college you know, they know someone you know.
• You asked them to follow up with you.

As time goes on we lose a bit more of our ability to remember things. I joke I'm having "age issues," but it is the truth. I'm not the memory machine I was when I was younger.

Why remember people: well, this is the whole point of networking. We want to eventually recontact these people, work with them ,maybe hire them. Their first impression is important.

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Your Online Identity: Using Your Middle Initial

In a world where many people share the same first and last name but not family, it is important to have a clear identity.

Consider using your middle initial.

Now, I can't take complete credit for this: this really came from Mike D. Merrill, a social media consultant in Dallas with a history with Dell. The guy knows his stuff and speaks from experience.

My personal experience is that when I Google my name, a number of people with my first and last name come up that aren't me. Same for a search on LinkedIn and Facebook. However, my middle initial set me apart. It makes me, me.

In this fast-paced, ever-changing information-savvy world, we all need every edge we can get. Your identity and personal brand are yours to manage and you should do so carefully and deliberately.

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Sportsmanship and Networking

You can call it sportsmanship or you can call it fair play. Whatever you call it, it has to do with fair give and take between players. Whether it's on the playing field or in the networking arena, play fair.

Over the weekend I was reminded of this lesson. During a youth baseball tournament, one coach had asked another to switch dugouts with his team as he was scheduled to play multiple games in the hot Sun without shade. Could he trade for the shadier spot for their game.

The coach who was asked was polite and said, yes, he would trade for their game.

When it came time for the championship game, the same two teams met. When the coach who had complied with the request for shade asked the coach who had benefited from the earlier shady spot to return the favor, the coach said no.

Karma has a way of working out. Even though they were the higher seed, the now shaded coach's team lost 9-0 to the non-shaded team.

The point is this: consider the consequences when you answer or pose a question. Consider, too, the long term result.

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Networking Basics: the Two "P's" and Two "C's"

These days we are caught up in social media and electronic communication. Yes, the are great tools for networking and marketing, but the basics never leave the process.

Some things never change. As we tell our trade show clients: "if you do this right, you can sell on a bare piece of concrete."

Picture not having Facebook, Twitter or your blog: could you still network effectively?

Sure you could. Just remember these basics:

• Patience
• Persistence
• Consistency
• Content

You need to be patient. Good things take time. Don't go into a room of people expecting a sale or even a relationship.

Keep it up: as in social media where regular posts and filings get you attention over the long term, so it is with basic networking. Be there, regularly, to be noticed.

Be the same and present yourself consistently. You will be memorable.

Provide value. As in social media give people things they can remember and use. They will remember you.

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Don't be like a soap opera--get to the point

I was reminded of a key point in the art of conversation a short time ago as I sat in a jury room. When you are conversing with someone, get to the point of what you have to say.

Don't be rude or impolite or disruptive of the conversation just for the sake of speed, but do be sure and not waste your partner's time.

When you're locked up in a jury room, this particular bailiff choose to turn on daytime TV and "As the World Turns." As most are familiar with, the plots of these programs move at glacial speed. I truly believe this is so that viewers can go away for any length of time (possibly years) and come back and resume the story as if they had never left.

Let's face it, in most interactions with people we do not have the luxury of that much time. We can, however, be crisp and to the point with our conversation and our listening.

It's the polite thing to do.

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Working Backward from "Yes"

This quote from the world of customer service works well in the universe of networking as well. Starting from a positive position is best.

"Work backward from 'yes'" comes from Chuck Greenberg, who, along with Nolan Ryan and a group of investors own the Texas Rangers Baseball Club. Recently, in a talk with customer service people, Chuck (he is not Mr. Greenberg to anybody, really), he brought up this phrase.

It really is the core of customer service. and networking. When you start from a footing of positiveness, you gain the ears and eyes of your audience. They listen, engage and even make decisions.

Conversely, if you start with "no", your conversation becomes a monologue really fast. People shut down and aren't hearing anything after you utter that work.

Wouldn't you rather engage people and have a dialog? Start with yes.

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