Unbelievable

Today I heard one of the more positive speakers I've heard in some time. And he used a device that can be trite, but he made it work.

The old "how are you today" asked to a crowded room.

When Vince Puente of Dallas' Southwest Office Systems asked the group at the North Dallas Chamber this morning, "How are you?" he was at first greeted with the usual mumbles and random "OK," "fine" and so one.

The real answer was "unbelievable."

As they used to say on The Family Feud, "good answer!"

It sounds very positive but could also mean other things. I'm having an unbelievably bad day or an unbelievably good day. At least it can mostly be construed as positive.

Thanks, Vince, for starting the day off right.

Relentless

"Tell me a story"

One of the rules of networking is "have stories." My physician is one of the best examples of this.

Whenever I go for a visit to The Good Doctor G, he greets me with "Brother Paul," followed by "tell me a story."

That's a great engagement line. But it also illustrates that being able to clearly and succinctly tell your "story" helps paint the picture for the asking party.

In a networking situation, stories help us illustrate or/and support our point. Whether it's a work-related story or a personal one from your tellable archives, being able to become part of a conversation, help support someone else's point or illustrate one of yours, it's a great device.

However, don't misuse or abuse this device: this isn't so you can name drop or relate unrelated triumphs. It's not about you, it's about connecting.

Relentless

Taking Leave

Knowing when to end a conversation is just as important as starting a conversation.

Timing is everything, but don't sweat it. It is, after all, just a conversation. But remember to be polite and respectful of time (both your conversant's and yours).

You will really know when the conversation is either over or run its course. Just before the "awkward moment" and better when there is a brief silence, take leave and excuse yourself.

The best approach is to say, "well, it has been nice talking with you," and/or "I'll talk with you again soon." Then say goodbye, shake hands and back away.

Simple, clear, polite and true.

Relentless

A Lesson from Graduation

I recently attended a graduation ceremony at a university and heard these words from the speaker. Great guidance for students or anybody charting their life (which, really, is all of us).

The speaker made four points:

• Accept your ignorance. While you may be very smart, there are things you don't know.
• Be willing to collaborate. We learn from others who know things we don't and we teach them things.
• Understand the expectations you have of yourself.
• Persevere. Never give up.

To this list, I would add:

• Remain humble....and polite.

Relentless

Thanks to Fernando Martinez, M.D., Interim Director of the University of Arizona's BIO5 Institute and program speaker, May 14, 2009.

Voicemail

We've all heard voicemail. We've all "talked" to voicemail. Here are some basic rules relating to voicemail:

• Be brief.
• Repeat your name.
• Repeat your number.
• Be polite.
• Call once and wait for the return call.

Get to the point: "Hi, this is Paul Maynard of Zachry Associates at 214-675-0500. We met at last evening's event and I'd like to talk with you further. I can be reached at 214-675-0500. This is Paul Maynard and I await your return call. Thank you.

No muss. No fuss. No being afraid to talk with the machine.

be sure and smile when you speak--it comes across in the message.

Relentless

Passion, Commitment, Action

While his column was focused on selling, David Tyson, Jr's "Strategies That Sell" space in the latest edition of the Dallas Business Journal, ended with a clear message that applies to all networkers:

"Passion, commitment, action: it's the formula for (selling) success."

The parentheses are mine because, while networking is a form of salesmanship, it is more about relationship building and less about promoting a product or service. The point here is that the three attributes Mr. Tyson spells out are attributable.

Passion goes without saying: you must have a love or sincere caring for the art of networking. You must want to engage others, carry on conversations and listen to others.

Commitment to take that passion to the next level. Plan, set strategies and objectives and devise the tactics you need. Review what it will take to fulfill your passion of networking.

And action--go forth and and do. Nothing replaces taking the steps to accomplish your plan and engage. Be the "most interesting person" at the event.

Relentless

Thanks to David Tyson, Jr., and the Dallas Business Journal

Paying the tab

We all meet people for lunch. And if you've read the book, "Never Eat Alone," you may even make it a philosophy.

One of the challenges is the question of who pays the tab. We all want to be polite (see those entries), but there are some things to consider with this item.

If were invited, usually the person who invited you is the host, and, unless something else is agreed to, then they pick up the tab. If you did the inviting, you should pay teh bill.

Of course, if you haven't discussed who is to pay, when the bill comes, always reach for your wallet and offer to pay. If the designated "host" insists, then offer to alternate payment ("my turn next time") or agree to split the tab.

Segments of Seinfeld episodes come to mind here, so be considerate and fair.

As we all know, the meal is just the vehicle for the conversation and the relationship. Not that you shouldn't enjoy the food and atmosphere as well as the company.

Relentless

Have energy

One of the ten rules of networking we floated out from this space earlier is to "have energy."

That is to say, have enthusiasm for your conversation, for the people you are interacting with, for what you are saying, for the event you are attending.

It comes, too, from a positive attitude.

At a North Dallas Chamber of Commerce gathering of regional education leaders, one of the panelists spoke up on how he dealt with stress. Dr. Michael Hinojosa, Superintendent of the Dallas Independent School District (DISD) said, as an aside to a comment he was making about dealing with changes:

"I don't get stressed, I give stress--I'm a carrier!"

While some might misinterpret this quote or take it out of context, the truth is Dr. H is correct--stay in shape, stay healthy, stay positive and you will keep things in perspective. Stress will roll off of you, but, more importantly, you will see the way clearly.

As to having e nergy in a networking situation: it helps to be focused and clear of mind.

Relentless

What is enough exposure?

We've all grown in our use of the social media tools. LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and others occupy a significant amount of the networker's life.

But have we really learned to use them?

Have we forgotten what the "original mission" was? Do we have the intent of these tools when we sign on and "connect" with our friends, colleagues and others?

I'd like to hear what others are saying or feeling about these media. It appears, from my vantage point, that there is a disconnect between what we are using to reach people and actually reaching people.

When have you been exposed enough? When do you reach the point of overexposure? Is too much exposure bad?

Relentless