How to Work a Room

Do you know how to work a room? That is, can you walk into a networking event and connect with the people you need to?

Here's a short primer on how to do just that. With the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, we all be getting needed practice. It is a simple list, really:

1. Have a strategy
2. Network with high energy
3. Know your ideal prospect
4. Pretend this is your home and you are the host
5. Be aware of body language
6. Start conversations
7. Introduce people who can help each other
8. Appeal to the other person’s own interest
9. Move around and move on
10. Have fun!

Know the geography of the room. For example, know how to move within the space and know who is talking with whom (or you will soon figure it out).

Good luck.

Relentless

Having Passion for What You Do

It's a lesson we all need to learn and heed: do what you do with passion, with energy, with positive purpose.

My latest encounter with this was at my latest haircut. Phyllis, the young lady who cuts and styles what's left of my hair, always has a positive attitude and lives life. Her latest news was that the salon had selected her to be one of their leading stylists. Sure it was a promotion, but this wasn't about money to her: she gets to study and work beside the icons in her industry. Phyllis is genuinely excited to be getting to take on this latest assignment. Bravo.

Passion. Energy. Positive. Ya gotta love it.

This reminded me of when my kids were 7 and 10 and we followed Major League Baseball. Collecting cards, attending and watching games, we had our favorite player, Ken Griffey, Junior, being that we were Seattle Mariner fans. Every once and a while we'd play the game of "who would play the game for free?" The first answer was always "Junior!" Backwards hat, bubble gum in the dugout, leaping catches in the outfield and that sweet swing. But the list dwindled after Junior. Quickly. Dave Henderson came next and then maybe Kirby Puckett.

You get the idea: to be a leader and memorable and to have a lasting impact, do what you do with passion.

Relentless

Cultural References

We've all done it--made reference to a quote from a book or a scene from a movie or TV show to make a point in conversation.

However, you can be obscure or out of date with these cultural references.

For example, at a recent sales meeting where I was asked to speak, I made reference to Ted Baxter on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show". I caught myself when I realized that the 20- and 30-somethings in the room might have a problem with a 40-year-old TV show reference! We all had a laugh as I pointed it out (the presentation was on networking skills, fortunately).

(I was also fortunate that there were a number of "Caddy Shack" fans who knew I was talking about Ted Knight!)

Being current and engaging is critical to gaining and holding the attention of your audience. While being a veteran can be helpful, being out of touch is worse. Get hip and understand just because it isn't something you know doesn't mean it's wrong--it's just different and key to connecting with your audience.

Sometime I'll tell you the story of my playlists of music used at the youth ballpark. Reach out with what they know.

Relentless

Being Prepared

The Boy Scout slogan of "Be Prepared" couldn't be more appropriate today. And it applies to networking more than we ever thought.

Knowing who you are talking with and their background and business makes you memorable during your conversation. Let's say you are going to meet a new contact for coffee. How do you prepare?

For example, taking a few moments to look at their website is worth the time. Also consider these ideas:

• Review the LinkedIn profile of your meeting partner. See who have in common in your networks.
• Write up a list of questions and even refer to it during your meeting (most effective in interviews).
• Again from LinkedIn: ask your common connections about the person you are connecting with. You might learn something interesting to bring up in conversation.
• Review why you are having the meeting. What's in it for both of you?
• Consider the groups or people you might refer your meeting partner to. Then do it after the meeting.
• Review their connections and ask for an introduction.

There are other things. I'm off to a leads group today and will have the opportunity to practice these ideas. I'll let you know how it goes.

Relentless

Collaborating and Connecting

It is why we network: collaborating and connecting.

At a recent trade show I had a conversation over a meal with two people in my network. Now, I see these guys for longer periods maybe twice a year. But when we do connect we spend hours together getting the exhibit assembled and show ready at the shows we work together. The important times have become before and after hours.

This most recent meeting was around a great conversation. We discussed their company, their jobs and marketing in general--including some fresh ideas around things they are working on separately from their "day" jobs.

The point is a two-hour conversation between three people over drinks or dinner or breakfast can yield some nuggets of ideas that can help elsewhere. Our conversation centered around marketing a product using social media and video to promote the ideas and not the product. Our exchange was just that--an exchange of ideas and collaboration that helped one of my friends target his audience and introduce some questions he hadn't thought of.

Think of it as "the idea cauldron." See you at the next show, guys.

Relentless

Networking By Association

A few quick facts to remember when using associations to build and navigate your network:

• Find
• Attend
• Serve

First, find those professional associations that meet your needs and fit with your strategy. Plus, hanging with people you know and like is a healthy thing.

Attend. You've joined, now be a part of the programs. Attend happy hours, luncheons, dinners. Meet people, arrange to go to coffee or lunch. Learn about the group by who is a part of it.

Serve. Being a volunteer or on a board of a professional association is not only a great use of your time, it is rewarding.

I'll be speaking in more detail about these concepts at the next IABC Dallas lunchon on 10/12. See you there (www.iabcdallas.com)

Relentless

The Six Steps of Following Up

One of the most significant mistakes we make as networkers is to not follow up.

In an effort to help cure this malaise, Relentless (with help from his colleague, Alice Dykeman), puts forth this list of six key steps in following up--so you will do it! The steps are otherwise known as the how, who, what, why when and where of followup:

• How do you do it?
  
• Who do I talk with? The Weeding Process
• What you hope to accomplish
• Why are you reconnecting? The Promise
• When do I do this? Timing, how soon
  
• Where will we meet again?

How do you do it? Remember who you talked to, make a list, have a plan. Each person you talked to at the event in question has a reason to connect with you and you with them.

Who do you talk with? Well, it is a weeding process. Prioritize each person you hope to talk with just like you would sales leads or leads from a trade show. But respond to everyone in some form.

What do you hope to accomplish? Have goals as to why you need to connect with each person. Not to say you won't talk to some, but others get more attention because of perceived relevance to you.

Why are you reconnecting? You more than likely made The Promise: "I'll send you that article," or "Let's have coffee," or "I'll connect you with that person." Follow through with your promise.

When do I do this? Well, actually, now. Or more clearly stated: NOW. Timing is critical as people's memory's fade (and yours, too).

Where will we meet again? This, too, is critical. Face-to-face a second time is the reinforcement of your relationship. Pick a place that you both can remember and be clear on date and time.

These few steps will help you make more complete and lasting relationships and build your network in a positive way.

Relentless

Ten Common Networking Mistakes

Here is a short list of things we all do to sabotage our networking efforts:

1. Lack of follow up
2. Not listening
3. No energy
4. Not qualifying
5. No planning
6. Not having a basic presentation
7. Poor communication
8. Talking about features and not benefits
9. Being afraid to talk to strangers
10. Being a know-it-all

That first one is the worst thing you can do. If you meet someone be sure you make contact again--and soon.

Listen. And even if you are listening, be sure you listen actively.

Energy equals passion. Passion equals engagement. Engagement leads to relationships. You get it.

Be sure you know who you are talking to and why. Qualify everybody on some level.

Know before you go to an event what you plan to do. Who will be there? What will be people be talking about? Do you know what you are going to say?

Know your short introductory speech. It is your entree to the room and to conversations. Be like the Boy Scouts.

Communication is a basic skill we really all know how to do. Take your turn talking. Ask questions. Make eye contact are a few things to remember.

Talk about why rather than what.

People are only strangers because you haven't met them yet.

And finally: everybody knows something, but no one knows everything.

Relentless

Choosing your words carefully

It has been said that once words leave your mouth that they remain out there forever. Words can hurt of heal and they really can last for a long time, particularly in this new digital age.

Consider this in these two instances:

• When you write
• When you speak

Sure, this is simple. But today, things can be carried around the world in written form or in recorded form. Take for example the LinkedIn recommendation: yes, you can revise it, but once it is published, it is out there for all to read. Remember LI is searchable in lots of ways. So, when you recommend someone, treat it as you would a verbal or other formal recommendation. Use the same rules of thumb: know them, mean it and tell the truth.

When you speak at a networking event, consider what you say carefully. Those who know you continue to learn about you; new contacts are collecting first impressions. Be polite, correct, truthful and chose your words carefully.

Relentless

A Powerful Tool: Your Memory

The next time you are at an event, try this exercise: how many names can you remember of the people you've met?

This serves two purposes:

1. When you get home to log in your new-found contacts, you'll be more apt to put in correct information.
2. It also allows you to start the qualifying process of "who was most memorable" among your new contacts.

There are some devices that help you remember:

• Clothing colors or something they wore: that yellow tie, the pretty dress, the guy in the shades.
• Some physical attribute: eye color, hair color, no hair, they were tall.
• Something they said: they went to a college you know, they know someone you know.
• You asked them to follow up with you.

As time goes on we lose a bit more of our ability to remember things. I joke I'm having "age issues," but it is the truth. I'm not the memory machine I was when I was younger.

Why remember people: well, this is the whole point of networking. We want to eventually recontact these people, work with them ,maybe hire them. Their first impression is important.

Relentless

Your Online Identity: Using Your Middle Initial

In a world where many people share the same first and last name but not family, it is important to have a clear identity.

Consider using your middle initial.

Now, I can't take complete credit for this: this really came from Mike D. Merrill, a social media consultant in Dallas with a history with Dell. The guy knows his stuff and speaks from experience.

My personal experience is that when I Google my name, a number of people with my first and last name come up that aren't me. Same for a search on LinkedIn and Facebook. However, my middle initial set me apart. It makes me, me.

In this fast-paced, ever-changing information-savvy world, we all need every edge we can get. Your identity and personal brand are yours to manage and you should do so carefully and deliberately.

Relentless

Sportsmanship and Networking

You can call it sportsmanship or you can call it fair play. Whatever you call it, it has to do with fair give and take between players. Whether it's on the playing field or in the networking arena, play fair.

Over the weekend I was reminded of this lesson. During a youth baseball tournament, one coach had asked another to switch dugouts with his team as he was scheduled to play multiple games in the hot Sun without shade. Could he trade for the shadier spot for their game.

The coach who was asked was polite and said, yes, he would trade for their game.

When it came time for the championship game, the same two teams met. When the coach who had complied with the request for shade asked the coach who had benefited from the earlier shady spot to return the favor, the coach said no.

Karma has a way of working out. Even though they were the higher seed, the now shaded coach's team lost 9-0 to the non-shaded team.

The point is this: consider the consequences when you answer or pose a question. Consider, too, the long term result.

Relentless

Networking Basics: the Two "P's" and Two "C's"

These days we are caught up in social media and electronic communication. Yes, the are great tools for networking and marketing, but the basics never leave the process.

Some things never change. As we tell our trade show clients: "if you do this right, you can sell on a bare piece of concrete."

Picture not having Facebook, Twitter or your blog: could you still network effectively?

Sure you could. Just remember these basics:

• Patience
• Persistence
• Consistency
• Content

You need to be patient. Good things take time. Don't go into a room of people expecting a sale or even a relationship.

Keep it up: as in social media where regular posts and filings get you attention over the long term, so it is with basic networking. Be there, regularly, to be noticed.

Be the same and present yourself consistently. You will be memorable.

Provide value. As in social media give people things they can remember and use. They will remember you.

Relentless

Don't be like a soap opera--get to the point

I was reminded of a key point in the art of conversation a short time ago as I sat in a jury room. When you are conversing with someone, get to the point of what you have to say.

Don't be rude or impolite or disruptive of the conversation just for the sake of speed, but do be sure and not waste your partner's time.

When you're locked up in a jury room, this particular bailiff choose to turn on daytime TV and "As the World Turns." As most are familiar with, the plots of these programs move at glacial speed. I truly believe this is so that viewers can go away for any length of time (possibly years) and come back and resume the story as if they had never left.

Let's face it, in most interactions with people we do not have the luxury of that much time. We can, however, be crisp and to the point with our conversation and our listening.

It's the polite thing to do.

Relentless

Working Backward from "Yes"

This quote from the world of customer service works well in the universe of networking as well. Starting from a positive position is best.

"Work backward from 'yes'" comes from Chuck Greenberg, who, along with Nolan Ryan and a group of investors own the Texas Rangers Baseball Club. Recently, in a talk with customer service people, Chuck (he is not Mr. Greenberg to anybody, really), he brought up this phrase.

It really is the core of customer service. and networking. When you start from a footing of positiveness, you gain the ears and eyes of your audience. They listen, engage and even make decisions.

Conversely, if you start with "no", your conversation becomes a monologue really fast. People shut down and aren't hearing anything after you utter that work.

Wouldn't you rather engage people and have a dialog? Start with yes.

Relentless

The Informal Advisory Board

Over lunch yesterday with a public relations colleague of mine, we talked about how we use or benefit from our networks. My friend told me he uses an informal "board of advisers" at a monthly or quarterly lunch.

I think his recommendation of getting together with colleagues regularly is a great idea: bounce ideas off one another, bring up stuff you can't elsewhere, hear other people's challenges and so on.

My friend's "team" includes client-side practitioners at a utility, a food company, a non-profit and another agency. Their balance of views and ideas results in spirited conversation and a great cauldron of ideas and advice.

Look around you and consider it for yourself.

Relentless

Relationship Management: Retaining a Client

It's part of good relationship management: retaining that important client. I had a couple of lessons this week that helped me understand this concept.

Statistics show that it costs more to gain a new client that it does to retain a client. Plus the longer you have a client, the better you understand their business, their markets and the people inside and outside of the company.

My lessons centered on these points:

• When a client calls or asks, you respond and deliver without question
• Be honest, if you can't do something, tell them what you can do
• Incumbent clients come first before prospects

In a weekly meeting with my largest client, I was asked for a specific answer to a detailed question. I had another opportunity I could have pursued between when the question was asked and when it was to be answered, but I dropped that situation because I needed to commit time to the incumbent.

The honesty cam in when I had to tell that prospect I couldn't help them. But I didn't jsut abandon them: I found some alternatives and put them in touch with some suggested partners who could deliver the quality they deserved. All without charging a few (I want to have the chance to work with them again).

My commitment is with my existing client. They hired me in good faith and I need to deliver. The prospect was just that: unproven to each other, the work could go away and so would the unattended work with the incumbent.

I made a choice. Do you have similar situations?

Relentless

Lessons from Court

After a day doing jury duty, I realized I learned a lot from the experience.

Going to court to serve on a jury of somebody's peers (even if only was traffic court) drove home these points:

• Patience and persistence are required
• Listening is important
• Multitasking is a key skill to have

Being patient when you have hours to kill between assignments is critical. You are on their clock just as you are many times with your network.

Listening, in all areas of your life, is more important than talking. Listening to the judge's instructions, listening to the bailiff as to where the bathroom is and when you can go to lunch and hearing evidence. If you are talking, you miss all of this.

Multitasking goes without saying: Time between panels requires you to read or make notes or make solid conversation with your fellow jurors.

A learning experience all around.

Relentless

Four Pillars of Customer Service--from a Baseball Team

The differentiator for so many businesses these days isn't your product, it is the service presenting and supporting it. We see it time and again in many industries from automobiles to restaurants to consumer products.

But it really works in baseball.

The Texas Rangers use a simple four-point formula for their entire staff on a daily basis:

1. Welcome guests ("Welcome to the Ballpark.")
2. Address their needs and wants ("How can I help you?")
3. Thank them for coming ("Thank you for coming today.")
4. Invite them back ("Please come again.")

Simple. Direct. Effective. Attendance is up, the brand is consistent and guests are happy. And the team is winning.

Consider these simple steps in your own everyday life.

Relentless

Who's interviewing who?

A friend recently returned from an interview without a very positive experience. It seems the interviewer forgot something important.

A candidate is also a customer. And so is everyone connected with that candidate.

When you speak or connect with a source (candidate or whomever) you are talking to their network and the network of everyone they are connected to. In the example of my friend, this Fortune 500 company now has a less than stellar image with not only her but everyone she know and touches including:

• Spouse
• Immediate family
• Friends
• Friends of friends
• Former coworkers
• Social media connections

Remember the extent of who you touch. And also remember that the candidate is also interviewing you and your your company.

Relentless