How to Work a Room

Do you know how to work a room? That is, can you walk into a networking event and connect with the people you need to?

Here's a short primer on how to do just that. With the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, we all be getting needed practice. It is a simple list, really:

1. Have a strategy
2. Network with high energy
3. Know your ideal prospect
4. Pretend this is your home and you are the host
5. Be aware of body language
6. Start conversations
7. Introduce people who can help each other
8. Appeal to the other person’s own interest
9. Move around and move on
10. Have fun!

Know the geography of the room. For example, know how to move within the space and know who is talking with whom (or you will soon figure it out).

Good luck.

Relentless

Having Passion for What You Do

It's a lesson we all need to learn and heed: do what you do with passion, with energy, with positive purpose.

My latest encounter with this was at my latest haircut. Phyllis, the young lady who cuts and styles what's left of my hair, always has a positive attitude and lives life. Her latest news was that the salon had selected her to be one of their leading stylists. Sure it was a promotion, but this wasn't about money to her: she gets to study and work beside the icons in her industry. Phyllis is genuinely excited to be getting to take on this latest assignment. Bravo.

Passion. Energy. Positive. Ya gotta love it.

This reminded me of when my kids were 7 and 10 and we followed Major League Baseball. Collecting cards, attending and watching games, we had our favorite player, Ken Griffey, Junior, being that we were Seattle Mariner fans. Every once and a while we'd play the game of "who would play the game for free?" The first answer was always "Junior!" Backwards hat, bubble gum in the dugout, leaping catches in the outfield and that sweet swing. But the list dwindled after Junior. Quickly. Dave Henderson came next and then maybe Kirby Puckett.

You get the idea: to be a leader and memorable and to have a lasting impact, do what you do with passion.

Relentless

Cultural References

We've all done it--made reference to a quote from a book or a scene from a movie or TV show to make a point in conversation.

However, you can be obscure or out of date with these cultural references.

For example, at a recent sales meeting where I was asked to speak, I made reference to Ted Baxter on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show". I caught myself when I realized that the 20- and 30-somethings in the room might have a problem with a 40-year-old TV show reference! We all had a laugh as I pointed it out (the presentation was on networking skills, fortunately).

(I was also fortunate that there were a number of "Caddy Shack" fans who knew I was talking about Ted Knight!)

Being current and engaging is critical to gaining and holding the attention of your audience. While being a veteran can be helpful, being out of touch is worse. Get hip and understand just because it isn't something you know doesn't mean it's wrong--it's just different and key to connecting with your audience.

Sometime I'll tell you the story of my playlists of music used at the youth ballpark. Reach out with what they know.

Relentless

Being Prepared

The Boy Scout slogan of "Be Prepared" couldn't be more appropriate today. And it applies to networking more than we ever thought.

Knowing who you are talking with and their background and business makes you memorable during your conversation. Let's say you are going to meet a new contact for coffee. How do you prepare?

For example, taking a few moments to look at their website is worth the time. Also consider these ideas:

• Review the LinkedIn profile of your meeting partner. See who have in common in your networks.
• Write up a list of questions and even refer to it during your meeting (most effective in interviews).
• Again from LinkedIn: ask your common connections about the person you are connecting with. You might learn something interesting to bring up in conversation.
• Review why you are having the meeting. What's in it for both of you?
• Consider the groups or people you might refer your meeting partner to. Then do it after the meeting.
• Review their connections and ask for an introduction.

There are other things. I'm off to a leads group today and will have the opportunity to practice these ideas. I'll let you know how it goes.

Relentless

Collaborating and Connecting

It is why we network: collaborating and connecting.

At a recent trade show I had a conversation over a meal with two people in my network. Now, I see these guys for longer periods maybe twice a year. But when we do connect we spend hours together getting the exhibit assembled and show ready at the shows we work together. The important times have become before and after hours.

This most recent meeting was around a great conversation. We discussed their company, their jobs and marketing in general--including some fresh ideas around things they are working on separately from their "day" jobs.

The point is a two-hour conversation between three people over drinks or dinner or breakfast can yield some nuggets of ideas that can help elsewhere. Our conversation centered around marketing a product using social media and video to promote the ideas and not the product. Our exchange was just that--an exchange of ideas and collaboration that helped one of my friends target his audience and introduce some questions he hadn't thought of.

Think of it as "the idea cauldron." See you at the next show, guys.

Relentless

Networking By Association

A few quick facts to remember when using associations to build and navigate your network:

• Find
• Attend
• Serve

First, find those professional associations that meet your needs and fit with your strategy. Plus, hanging with people you know and like is a healthy thing.

Attend. You've joined, now be a part of the programs. Attend happy hours, luncheons, dinners. Meet people, arrange to go to coffee or lunch. Learn about the group by who is a part of it.

Serve. Being a volunteer or on a board of a professional association is not only a great use of your time, it is rewarding.

I'll be speaking in more detail about these concepts at the next IABC Dallas lunchon on 10/12. See you there (www.iabcdallas.com)

Relentless

The Six Steps of Following Up

One of the most significant mistakes we make as networkers is to not follow up.

In an effort to help cure this malaise, Relentless (with help from his colleague, Alice Dykeman), puts forth this list of six key steps in following up--so you will do it! The steps are otherwise known as the how, who, what, why when and where of followup:

• How do you do it?
  
• Who do I talk with? The Weeding Process
• What you hope to accomplish
• Why are you reconnecting? The Promise
• When do I do this? Timing, how soon
  
• Where will we meet again?

How do you do it? Remember who you talked to, make a list, have a plan. Each person you talked to at the event in question has a reason to connect with you and you with them.

Who do you talk with? Well, it is a weeding process. Prioritize each person you hope to talk with just like you would sales leads or leads from a trade show. But respond to everyone in some form.

What do you hope to accomplish? Have goals as to why you need to connect with each person. Not to say you won't talk to some, but others get more attention because of perceived relevance to you.

Why are you reconnecting? You more than likely made The Promise: "I'll send you that article," or "Let's have coffee," or "I'll connect you with that person." Follow through with your promise.

When do I do this? Well, actually, now. Or more clearly stated: NOW. Timing is critical as people's memory's fade (and yours, too).

Where will we meet again? This, too, is critical. Face-to-face a second time is the reinforcement of your relationship. Pick a place that you both can remember and be clear on date and time.

These few steps will help you make more complete and lasting relationships and build your network in a positive way.

Relentless

Ten Common Networking Mistakes

Here is a short list of things we all do to sabotage our networking efforts:

1. Lack of follow up
2. Not listening
3. No energy
4. Not qualifying
5. No planning
6. Not having a basic presentation
7. Poor communication
8. Talking about features and not benefits
9. Being afraid to talk to strangers
10. Being a know-it-all

That first one is the worst thing you can do. If you meet someone be sure you make contact again--and soon.

Listen. And even if you are listening, be sure you listen actively.

Energy equals passion. Passion equals engagement. Engagement leads to relationships. You get it.

Be sure you know who you are talking to and why. Qualify everybody on some level.

Know before you go to an event what you plan to do. Who will be there? What will be people be talking about? Do you know what you are going to say?

Know your short introductory speech. It is your entree to the room and to conversations. Be like the Boy Scouts.

Communication is a basic skill we really all know how to do. Take your turn talking. Ask questions. Make eye contact are a few things to remember.

Talk about why rather than what.

People are only strangers because you haven't met them yet.

And finally: everybody knows something, but no one knows everything.

Relentless

Choosing your words carefully

It has been said that once words leave your mouth that they remain out there forever. Words can hurt of heal and they really can last for a long time, particularly in this new digital age.

Consider this in these two instances:

• When you write
• When you speak

Sure, this is simple. But today, things can be carried around the world in written form or in recorded form. Take for example the LinkedIn recommendation: yes, you can revise it, but once it is published, it is out there for all to read. Remember LI is searchable in lots of ways. So, when you recommend someone, treat it as you would a verbal or other formal recommendation. Use the same rules of thumb: know them, mean it and tell the truth.

When you speak at a networking event, consider what you say carefully. Those who know you continue to learn about you; new contacts are collecting first impressions. Be polite, correct, truthful and chose your words carefully.

Relentless

A Powerful Tool: Your Memory

The next time you are at an event, try this exercise: how many names can you remember of the people you've met?

This serves two purposes:

1. When you get home to log in your new-found contacts, you'll be more apt to put in correct information.
2. It also allows you to start the qualifying process of "who was most memorable" among your new contacts.

There are some devices that help you remember:

• Clothing colors or something they wore: that yellow tie, the pretty dress, the guy in the shades.
• Some physical attribute: eye color, hair color, no hair, they were tall.
• Something they said: they went to a college you know, they know someone you know.
• You asked them to follow up with you.

As time goes on we lose a bit more of our ability to remember things. I joke I'm having "age issues," but it is the truth. I'm not the memory machine I was when I was younger.

Why remember people: well, this is the whole point of networking. We want to eventually recontact these people, work with them ,maybe hire them. Their first impression is important.

Relentless

Your Online Identity: Using Your Middle Initial

In a world where many people share the same first and last name but not family, it is important to have a clear identity.

Consider using your middle initial.

Now, I can't take complete credit for this: this really came from Mike D. Merrill, a social media consultant in Dallas with a history with Dell. The guy knows his stuff and speaks from experience.

My personal experience is that when I Google my name, a number of people with my first and last name come up that aren't me. Same for a search on LinkedIn and Facebook. However, my middle initial set me apart. It makes me, me.

In this fast-paced, ever-changing information-savvy world, we all need every edge we can get. Your identity and personal brand are yours to manage and you should do so carefully and deliberately.

Relentless

Sportsmanship and Networking

You can call it sportsmanship or you can call it fair play. Whatever you call it, it has to do with fair give and take between players. Whether it's on the playing field or in the networking arena, play fair.

Over the weekend I was reminded of this lesson. During a youth baseball tournament, one coach had asked another to switch dugouts with his team as he was scheduled to play multiple games in the hot Sun without shade. Could he trade for the shadier spot for their game.

The coach who was asked was polite and said, yes, he would trade for their game.

When it came time for the championship game, the same two teams met. When the coach who had complied with the request for shade asked the coach who had benefited from the earlier shady spot to return the favor, the coach said no.

Karma has a way of working out. Even though they were the higher seed, the now shaded coach's team lost 9-0 to the non-shaded team.

The point is this: consider the consequences when you answer or pose a question. Consider, too, the long term result.

Relentless

Networking Basics: the Two "P's" and Two "C's"

These days we are caught up in social media and electronic communication. Yes, the are great tools for networking and marketing, but the basics never leave the process.

Some things never change. As we tell our trade show clients: "if you do this right, you can sell on a bare piece of concrete."

Picture not having Facebook, Twitter or your blog: could you still network effectively?

Sure you could. Just remember these basics:

• Patience
• Persistence
• Consistency
• Content

You need to be patient. Good things take time. Don't go into a room of people expecting a sale or even a relationship.

Keep it up: as in social media where regular posts and filings get you attention over the long term, so it is with basic networking. Be there, regularly, to be noticed.

Be the same and present yourself consistently. You will be memorable.

Provide value. As in social media give people things they can remember and use. They will remember you.

Relentless

Don't be like a soap opera--get to the point

I was reminded of a key point in the art of conversation a short time ago as I sat in a jury room. When you are conversing with someone, get to the point of what you have to say.

Don't be rude or impolite or disruptive of the conversation just for the sake of speed, but do be sure and not waste your partner's time.

When you're locked up in a jury room, this particular bailiff choose to turn on daytime TV and "As the World Turns." As most are familiar with, the plots of these programs move at glacial speed. I truly believe this is so that viewers can go away for any length of time (possibly years) and come back and resume the story as if they had never left.

Let's face it, in most interactions with people we do not have the luxury of that much time. We can, however, be crisp and to the point with our conversation and our listening.

It's the polite thing to do.

Relentless

Working Backward from "Yes"

This quote from the world of customer service works well in the universe of networking as well. Starting from a positive position is best.

"Work backward from 'yes'" comes from Chuck Greenberg, who, along with Nolan Ryan and a group of investors own the Texas Rangers Baseball Club. Recently, in a talk with customer service people, Chuck (he is not Mr. Greenberg to anybody, really), he brought up this phrase.

It really is the core of customer service. and networking. When you start from a footing of positiveness, you gain the ears and eyes of your audience. They listen, engage and even make decisions.

Conversely, if you start with "no", your conversation becomes a monologue really fast. People shut down and aren't hearing anything after you utter that work.

Wouldn't you rather engage people and have a dialog? Start with yes.

Relentless

The Informal Advisory Board

Over lunch yesterday with a public relations colleague of mine, we talked about how we use or benefit from our networks. My friend told me he uses an informal "board of advisers" at a monthly or quarterly lunch.

I think his recommendation of getting together with colleagues regularly is a great idea: bounce ideas off one another, bring up stuff you can't elsewhere, hear other people's challenges and so on.

My friend's "team" includes client-side practitioners at a utility, a food company, a non-profit and another agency. Their balance of views and ideas results in spirited conversation and a great cauldron of ideas and advice.

Look around you and consider it for yourself.

Relentless

Relationship Management: Retaining a Client

It's part of good relationship management: retaining that important client. I had a couple of lessons this week that helped me understand this concept.

Statistics show that it costs more to gain a new client that it does to retain a client. Plus the longer you have a client, the better you understand their business, their markets and the people inside and outside of the company.

My lessons centered on these points:

• When a client calls or asks, you respond and deliver without question
• Be honest, if you can't do something, tell them what you can do
• Incumbent clients come first before prospects

In a weekly meeting with my largest client, I was asked for a specific answer to a detailed question. I had another opportunity I could have pursued between when the question was asked and when it was to be answered, but I dropped that situation because I needed to commit time to the incumbent.

The honesty cam in when I had to tell that prospect I couldn't help them. But I didn't jsut abandon them: I found some alternatives and put them in touch with some suggested partners who could deliver the quality they deserved. All without charging a few (I want to have the chance to work with them again).

My commitment is with my existing client. They hired me in good faith and I need to deliver. The prospect was just that: unproven to each other, the work could go away and so would the unattended work with the incumbent.

I made a choice. Do you have similar situations?

Relentless

Lessons from Court

After a day doing jury duty, I realized I learned a lot from the experience.

Going to court to serve on a jury of somebody's peers (even if only was traffic court) drove home these points:

• Patience and persistence are required
• Listening is important
• Multitasking is a key skill to have

Being patient when you have hours to kill between assignments is critical. You are on their clock just as you are many times with your network.

Listening, in all areas of your life, is more important than talking. Listening to the judge's instructions, listening to the bailiff as to where the bathroom is and when you can go to lunch and hearing evidence. If you are talking, you miss all of this.

Multitasking goes without saying: Time between panels requires you to read or make notes or make solid conversation with your fellow jurors.

A learning experience all around.

Relentless

Four Pillars of Customer Service--from a Baseball Team

The differentiator for so many businesses these days isn't your product, it is the service presenting and supporting it. We see it time and again in many industries from automobiles to restaurants to consumer products.

But it really works in baseball.

The Texas Rangers use a simple four-point formula for their entire staff on a daily basis:

1. Welcome guests ("Welcome to the Ballpark.")
2. Address their needs and wants ("How can I help you?")
3. Thank them for coming ("Thank you for coming today.")
4. Invite them back ("Please come again.")

Simple. Direct. Effective. Attendance is up, the brand is consistent and guests are happy. And the team is winning.

Consider these simple steps in your own everyday life.

Relentless

Who's interviewing who?

A friend recently returned from an interview without a very positive experience. It seems the interviewer forgot something important.

A candidate is also a customer. And so is everyone connected with that candidate.

When you speak or connect with a source (candidate or whomever) you are talking to their network and the network of everyone they are connected to. In the example of my friend, this Fortune 500 company now has a less than stellar image with not only her but everyone she know and touches including:

• Spouse
• Immediate family
• Friends
• Friends of friends
• Former coworkers
• Social media connections

Remember the extent of who you touch. And also remember that the candidate is also interviewing you and your your company.

Relentless

Maintaining your network

"You never know who you will work with or for."

"Be careful--the before you burn that bridge be sure you aren't standing on it."

You've heard them all. And they all bring up an important point: maintaining your network is as important (or more important than) building your network. A case in point: my colleague, Rob Mitchell at Philanthromax.

Rob and his business partner, Hank Zachry, founded Philanthromax as a consultancy and product provider for the non-profit marketplace. They recently rolled out a new product, PhilanthroDEX, to this marketplace. The concept of the product is new to this marketplace.

(In the interest of full disclosure, Philanthromax is a client of my company.)

This is a very good example of using an existing network to build a new brand an product. The good news is that Rob and Hank have extensive networks in the marketplace (industry) and use the power of relationships to build awareness.

Rob is a former head of the American Cancer Society Foundation and Hank has extensive ties to the planned giving world.

These ties have been critical in introducing PhilanthroDEX out to the world. With the tandem challenge of building a brand of a young company at the same time, the value of "who you know" has paid dividends.

While it is tempting to do direct selling in a situation like this, truthfully the real value has been in gaining solid advice and fresh, outside perspectives.

One network contact gave advice on how to judge the value of the product in the marketplace and gauge acceptance. Another saw another use and application of the product. These insights are almost as important as selling the product itself, if not more so.

The make the point of the value of a network, both of these advisers were long-time acquaintances of Rob who recalled him from earlier conversations. In once case, the contactee remembered first.

Dont' burn that bridge or forget anyone. They do come back.

Relentless

Baseball and Networking

This being the Fourth of July Weekend, our thoughts turn to patriotism and the national pastime. In this instance, I'm talking about baseball--while I realize football and soccer are more of a ratings and popularity hit, baseball endures.

Baseball and networking share several common traits and ideas:

• Things happen in threes
• Teamwork is essential
• There is strategy involved

Three strikes, three outs, triple plays, three bases, a triple (hit), nine innings (okay, a multiple of three) are the basics of baseball.

When it comes to networking, people remember things best in threes, groups of three are a more complete conversation, three conversations and you most likely get to a face-to-face meeting.

Unassisted double and triple plays are rare, a pitcher would be ineffective without a catcher, an outfielder really needs a cutoff man and a clean-up man needs guys on base to clean up.

A wing man really works wonders when you are at a reception, referrals don't happen without someone referring another person to you, social media has based its whole concept on connected people and word-of-mouth takes more than one mouth.

Knowing which pitch to throw in a full-count situation, when a coach is supposed to send a runner, when to walk a batter and when to pull a pitcher are all elements of strategy in baseball.

Knowing what events to attend and when, who you should be meeting and why you need to meet them comprise a networking strategy.

Remember the basics when you're out networking and the results will be positive. Play ball!

Relentless

The Triad

In a conversation with my consultant-mentor Francisco Escobar last evening, we discussed why and how clients do business with you. At least we talked about the elements of the process.

We came up with these three "steps" that people go through when choosing to do business with an individual or client:

• Gaining or having credibility.
• Earning a level of trust.
• Dependency.

Having credibility with a prospect is what turns them into clients. Or at least starts the discussion. If you can cite previous, successful work, then they are more apt to have the next conversation with you.

Being trusted is why someone chooses to sign a contract or a check for you to do work for them. When they trust you with their business problem or challenge, that's when you are now doing business. This also gives you the perspective to provide your now-client with an objective point of view.

Dependency is a bit too strong, but really describes when an established client views you as indispensable when it comes to getting certain tasks or work done. This usually means you are in it with them for the long haul. Your presence gives them increased bandwidth.

Consider these steps or levels as you work with your clients or customers.

Relentless

Those who influence us

Today being Father's Day, I am inspired to think about the men who have influenced me during my life. From a networking perspective this is important as we need to recognize that we continue to encounter similar people throughout our life. And, as with anything in history, we need to understand it so that we can either avoid or choose to repeat it.

By the way, there are many women in our lives who influence us. Let's save that for Mother's Day.

My personal list is a set of five and in no particular order, except chronology. Let's start with one we can all relate to and related to this day.

My dad (always on a list like this), Harry Maynard, was gone too early as far as I am concerned. I am actually older today than he was when he passed on. But in those 55 years (21 spent with me), I learned courtesy and how to approach people in a polite fashion. He was a pharmacist in small stores over his career and customer service and reaching out to his clients was very important. He also taught me to be forgiving and loving of others. Then there was his strong work ethic.

Robert Dawson was my high school graphic arts instructor. If I had really listened to him, I would be a professional photographer today. But what he did teach me were the values of quality and finishing what you start. When you learn the basics of photography on s Speed Graphic and process film a sheet at a time, you learn patience and the value of process. He also taught me to see and to visualize. It wasn't always about the equipment, it was about the eye.

My eldest son, Dan. I learned a lot from Dan while he lived with me for two years in Dallas. We discovered the place together and talked politics, music, culture and life. I got to share his life as an adult, something I didn't get to do with my own dad. He's the reason I stayed in Dallas.

My youngest son Drew. Drew is the guy who can overcome anything. While his brother barely has to crack a book to pass an exam, Drew has worked incredibly hard to earn every grade and score he has. He has the master's degree to prove it. He's also overcome a childhood illness and the loss of his true love to death. Drew taught me, and still teaches me, that with preparation and application, you can achieve anything. Life is too important to waste.

Lastly, I must include a man I never met. I've heard he was a great guy and well liked. But if he hadn't have passed on, I would never have met and fallen in love with his widow. I'm in Texas in large part because of him and I hope to meet him someday. Remember the influence of your actions goes beyond your immediate grasp.

We all need to remember the men (people) in our lives who touch us and leave their mark. Remember the lesson and take it to the next episode. Thanks, guys, for all you've done to help me in this life. Happy Father's Day.

Relentless

Practicing Elitism

Or rather, don't.

Nothing is more "off-putting" that appearing to act above your audience and your peers. Acting important doesn't make you important. Nor does showing the feeling that you are above those around you or the things you are responsible for.

My case in point is a recent set of appointments between myself and a prospective client. Now, understand that I am all in favor of being client-focused and ready to serve. However, I am not a servant. I don't understand someone who needs a solution and puts off meeting about it. I am used to setting meetings within a few days of a conversation. I'm also used to working directly with a contact--especially in today's digital age. Do people really need to take two to four weeks to set an appointment? And then only through an assistant who typically doesn't respond to correspondence within the usual day time frame?

My second example is an important client who gently reminded me that I wasn't paying close enough attention to them. They were right.

Then, of course, there is the CEO of BP, now off at a yacht race and after asking "for my life back." Tony Hayward needs to understand his audience. All of them. He needs to realize the whole of the impact of this problem his company is responsible for--even philanthropic giving will ge down $300 to $600 million--and act accordingly.

The bottom line is be polite and know how to interact with your audience. Please don't forget the polite part.

Relentless

Networking and PictureWorthyDay.com

Today I had the good fortune to volunteer for something and it had an immediate response. At the DFW AMA luncheon, David Lesh, the Chief Life Enthusiast at Picture Worthy Day spoke. And because I raised my hand and said I'd try out his concept, I won a camera.

Wow, that hasn't happened to me before. Needless to say, I was inspired--and impressed.

David's concept is simple: make a commitment to taking a camera with you where ever you go for a year. Choose to snap photos and upload them to their site per your plan. Easy enough, right?

Well, you do need to think about what you are shooting. And as David's example showed, be inspired to do something because of the photos you shoot. He had a great shot of himself in costume for one of his daughter's dance recitals. You get the idea.

And what does this have to do with networking you say? Quite a lot, I say.

By setting goals and then using a strategy to meet them, you are using a networking strategy. The best part of this is that it embodies the two concepts we (at least in this space) hold as guiding forces to all networking:

1. It is not transactional
2. It is not about you

So it is with David's concept: look beyond the lens and see others. Think about how you are impacting the world around you. And how you might change that world view.

I'll update you on my progress on my five goals in this space on a recurring basis.

Relentless

Networking events this week: June 14-18, 2010

There are a number of networking events to take part in this week in the Dallas area. If I’ve missed anything, let me know, but here’s a good group to consider among many others (can’t cover them all, but hope to hit the high spots):

Wednesday, 6/16, you could be kept busy morning and night. First there is the North Dallas Chambers’ Annual Education Forum, featuring the superintendent of Dallas ISD, the Chancellor of the UNT System and the presidents of Texas A&M and UTD. The event runs 7:30 to 9:30 am at the Westin Park Central Hotel, 12720 Merit Drive, Dallas.

IABC Dallas joins the American Society of Media Photographers Dallas chapter for a networking happy hour on Wednesday, June 16, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m., co-sponsored by Profoto and Bolt Productions. Always a good networking event. This one is at Bolt Productions, 1346 Chemical St.Dallas 75207.

Thursday, 6/17, has a couple of events, too. First, have lunch with Greg Farmer and his team at Farmer Business Systems at a lunch and learn program to show off new Xerox products and service plans. Yes, it is a sales program, but it does put people together and they serve lunch. And you might learn about some cool products. RSVP to http://www.xerox-event.com/rbl/farmersystems. The event is at 11am, at 3965 Beltline, Addison.

Then head over to visit Ann Windham and her team at Imagine Xhibits from 1 to 7. They are having their initial open house under their new brand. Come walk the red carpet and enjoy food and live music while you network. RSVP to 972-238-0635 or visit http://www.imaginexhibits.com for more info. Imagine Xhibits, 1633 Firman Drive, Richardson,75081

Friday is the NDCC’s 2010 Metroplex Growth Capital Conference, featuring Carl Sewell (yes, that Carl Sewell) and a panel discussion on funding sources. Event runs 7:45 am to 10:30am at the Westin Galleria, 13340 Dallas Parkway. For the Chamber events, visit www.ndcc.org or call 214-368-6485.

Happy networking.

Relentless

Keeping your humanity

Recently I attended a law school commencement and heard one of the better commencement speeches in recent memory. Coming from an attorney and professor, I found it refreshing and enlightening all the same.

The speaker outlined how, going forward from this milestone in life, the graduates should seek to retain their humanity. He brought up four points:

• Use common sense
• Retain a sense of humor
• Have compassion
• Have passion
  

On the surface, these seem pretty obvious. But, as always, there are other meanings--and application to our world of Relentless Networking.

Using common sense. Not all of life comes at you out of a book. Use your gut, rely on those instincts and the things mama taught you to guide you.

A sense of humor goes hand-in-hand with survival and moving forward. If you can't laugh at yourself and the world, who can you laugh at--or with?

Compassion is the fuel of a loving and kind world. Doing for those who can't do for themselves is a key to a fulfilled life. Leaving this planet a better place than when we arrived is a goal for all of us and it takes compassion.

Same goes for passion: have energy and enthusiasm for all that you do. Greet the day knowing you can conquer something.

So, go forth and network with your humanity intact.

Relentless

Being able to talk with anyone

In today's obituary for early television pioneer, Art Linkletter, he is quoted as saying he credited his conservative older adoptive parents with teaching him to be able to talk with anyone.

That's a talent or skill we could all use. Mr. Linkletter used it to his professional advantage in being able to talk with children on his long-running segment of his TV programs, "Kids Say the Darnedest Things." He also knew when to let the other guy, or kid, get the laugh. Because he knew it wasn't about him.

I saw this trait in action in yet another generation this past weekend when I visited my son and daughter-in-law. Jaclyn is one of those people who can talk with anyone. I'd heard the stories of her engaging the strangers next to them on planes to the point of getting a ride home from the conversant. But I had never witnessed it first hand.

We were all walking down by the locks on the Mississippi River in Minneapolis when she walked by a man fishing from the pavement above the river. A freshly caught Catfish in his bucket, the middle-aged black man with the fishing rod was telling this blond girl in pink all about the bait he used and what time of day was best to fish that location.

What was most important about this conversation is that Jaclyn was listening and the fisherman was talking. She proved to me why she is good at sales for the freight company she works for. She had this guy volunteering all kinds of data.

But realize this is not just because she's pretty and blond. Jaclyn knows the tools of a great networker--listening and speaking carefully. Look past the obvious and listen and ask, rather than talking and directing. You just might learn something and get someplace you hadn't considered a destination.

Relentless

The Three "A"s

In a conversation with a physician friend the other evening, he introduced me to a concept I hadn't heard of before.

The three "A"s:

1. Affability
2. Availability
3. Ability

Unfortunately, in the example he used, it was a bit of a negative connotation. In the mill that our healthcare industry has become, in some healthcare systems, this is an order of priority that you have when either getting or choosing a physician.

1. Is he or she affable? That is, can you talk with them?
2. Are they available? Do you have access to them and them to you?
3. What is their ability? This is the scary question because it is listed third....

But what's to say this concept can't be applied to networking and your business?

Are you affable or approachable? Do people like you well enough to do business with you?

Are you available? Will you be there when the prospect needs the service or product? Will you be there when they need it again? Will you back it up?

Do you have the skill and ability the client needs? Really, all three of these elements work together to give you an advantage (or disadvantage). If you can't do the work, why bother with the first two?

Things to think about.

Relentless

Is common courtesy dead?

This must be a sign of the times or that I am not moving fast enough for them.

Today I got a call from a connection who asked me a question. Once I answered the question, before I could react, the line was dead. I guess I fulfilled their requirement.

Whatever happened to "goodbye"?

Common courtesy, Emily Post style, I suppose is dead in this hectic, want-it-now, wired society. We crave/want/need/demand attention/information/satisfaction and then we're done.

Why?

I, for one, hope this practice dies a quick death. What better way to hack off and alienate your network than to cut them off as if they were stale bread from yesterday. In other words, think long and hard about how you treat people or they won't be around to be treated.

Relentless

Referrals

Referrals are a powerful tool. Whether you are the giver or the receiver, referring someone is both a gift and a great tool.

As we discussed in a recent Networking Skills Workshop in Dallas, referrals are a basic function of your network. We've all worked hard to build a network, to be an influential or to meet and know influential people. the natural by product of all that work is to distill off a bit of referral to fuel business.

First, a word about influentials: we really don't know who we know or who others know. As our friend, Ben Smithee, is fond of saying, we want to be connected to who you know. Influentials are those people you see in networking situations sharing leads. For them, it is about being selfless. Good comes to those who do good deeds and good work.

Whatever you do, as we've said in this space before, don't burn a bridge: you may be standing on it.

• Have a strategy in meeting people
• Be willing to share a contact with someone you meet, either voluntarily or when they ask
• Always end the conversation with "and how may I return the favor?"

Referring someone to someone else in your network is as easy as stepping back, seeing the big picture and realizing that these two people could benefit by meeting. Then introduce them, either:

• In person
• Via a two-party e-mail intro
• A LinkedIn introduction
• A phone call
• A singular intro to one to meet the other

We can't go too much further in this post without mentioning social media and introductions and referrals. If you are using LinkedIn, you ahve a natural tool for introduction and recommendation. It is the new way to connect people, be visible and give someone else visibility.

Posting a link on Facebook or Twitter to an article by or forwarded by a trusted colleague you want to promote to your network is another way to get the word out about someone in your network.

And using blogs, as I am using this post, is another way to promote and connect.

Happy referring.

Relentless

First Impressions

They only come along once, so be sure and make a good one. First impressions, that is.

Whether you are meeting someone at a networking situation for the first time or your new boss at that new job, there are some things to remember:

• Understand expectations
• Demonstrate who you are
• Know the environment
• Actively listen
• Be organized
• Know your brand

Knowing what to deliver is important. before you go to that event, know who to talk with or who is going to be there. If you are starting a job, ask the boss what she expects of you (make a list).

Demonstrating your abilities, either in the microcosm of the event or the first few days of a job helps build momentum. People remember effective people. Be concise (but polite) with conversation and take leave appropriately. Complete the work assigned to you clearly, accurately and completely.

Knowing where you are and how to react means knowing processes: which hand to shake with or what software to use.

Actively listen to those you meet. You'll remember more than you might believe and you will be memorable ll the same.

Be organized. Business cards. Check. Short intro speech. Check. make sure your office looks and feels like the workspace of someone who knows what they are doing.

And knowing your brand. In this day and age of controlling your digital footprint, be sure you are consistent in message from platform to platform and from time to time. This is Product You, so be careful how you position and advance yourself. It's up to you.

Relentless

Advice from a Seasoned Sales Guy

In the April issue of Inc. Magazine, there is a story profiling a "super salesman."

Good story all around, but the one quote that meant the most in reading this story was:

"Never worry about how you're doing in a meeting. Focus on the other guy. Otherwise, it's like watching your feet while you're running. And be emotionally prepared to be slaughtered--it makes you bulletproof."

The first part is really important and what we've talked about in this space for some time--it is not about you.

The second part goes without saying--the offense is a better defense.

Relentless

Have a Strategy

At an evening event yesterday for students and professionals at a local university, I was asked to interact with students. The object for several of us professionals was to indirectly coach the soon-to-graduate students.

The one thing that kept coming up was: have a strategy.

A short list of things to include in your networking event strategy toolbox:

• Know when to arrive--early, on time, a little late.
• Know who you want to meet.
• Know how long you will talk with people--not too little or too long.
• Listen actively.
• Share information, don't dominate or give in, either.
• Know how to engage and disengage.
• Follow up.

Basic stuff but it is what a successful networking event is all about.

Relentless

Etiquette is Eternal

We talk about manners in this space quite often. We've come to the conclusion that they are not obsolete. I found someone who agrees with me.

Peggy Post is the director of the Emily Post Institute. Yes, that Emily Post. In the May/June issue of AARP Magazine (www.aarpmagazine.org/peggypost), she wrote that manners in today's fast-paced, complex and crowded world are still relevant.

"The potnetial for awkward moments--and yes, even rude ones--is amplified," Post wrote, because of societal shifts. Technology, fashion trends and more open talk are driving and changing how we interact with one another.

However, the basic principles of Emily Post endure and apply and never change:

• Honesty
• Respect
• Consideration

No matter the situation, these three ideals are the basics of being polite, in showing manners. Respect for our fellow humans should be under all of our interactions. These should be easy for us to apply to networking situations. Or at least they should be.

Relentless

Upcoming Dallas Networking Events

Meeting people is what this is all about for me. I love relating stories and sharing ideas in this forum, but I like even more to meet real people in real situations. I'll be getting to meet people up close and personal at the following events:

On Tuesday, April 13, Alice Dykeman (Dykeman and Associates) and I will be presenting at the North Dallas Chamber of Commerce's monthly installment of the Networking Skills Workshop. This month Alice and are are talking about and demonstrating body language. The program starts at 11:45. For more information and to RSVP, go to www.ndcc.org.

Panel discussions are great things to share ideas and hear new ones. I am on a panel for the Greater Dallas Chamber on Tuesday, April 20, at 6:00 pm, discussing social media. The panel includes Shama Kabani, Casey McConnell and Glenna Hecht. Great topic and even better networking www.dallaschamber.org.

I'll also be the University of Texas Dallas on Thursday, April 22. It's an open networking event starting at 5:00 pm. www.utdallas.edu.

Get out, get moving and, most of all, get connected.

Relentless

Admitting what you don't know

Somebody asks you a question--and you don't know the answer. What do you do?

Make something up?

Take an educated guest?

Use a lifeline?

Admit you don't know--but will get back to them?

Actually, the last option is the best in my view. It is the truth (always easiest to remember) and it sets you up to provide a clear, more correct answer when you can.

Admitting y don't know something shows lots more than a lack of knowledge. It shows character, it shows interest and it shows a belief in both yourself and your customer.

Don't be afraid. Admit it when you have to.

Relentless

Are You Really a Self Starter?

We've all been asked if we are or described ourselves as self starters. You know, the person who can find the wherewithall to start from scratch or with nothing to get a project or task going and then see it through to completion.

But are we really?

There are some real real-life tests of this. If you are someone who offices by themselves or out of a home office, you have part of this ethic going already. You have to start your day, not a boss coming by your desk or a bell going off (that really does happen).

If you don't have a family or significant other to motivate you, then you are a self starter. You have to start the day/task/project because you want to and not because someone else is driving you.

Same goes for job seekers--the balance in the bank account is ticking and will be gone if you aren't motivated.

Freelancers live by the notion that they are only as good as their last assignment. the client won't ask you back or pay you if you don't perform. YOU don't perform.

There are countless other ways to measure this, but you get the picture. You ahve to find "it" inside of you to push forward in this life. As a good friend of mine told me when I needed motivation at a low time:

"Now, go out and conquer something!"

Relentless

The ROI of an event

In choosing an event to attend, don't always go by the price. Consider the audience, the location, time of day and who invited you (so you can gauge other attendees). I'll give you two examples:

A local chapter of a professional organization holds monthly happy hours. The locations are fun, the parking is free, I get the first drink for free and I can't spend more than $10 at the door.

The publisher of the metro business journal holds periodic by-invitation receptions at some nice places. The guest list includes C-level execs and the attendance is limited. The fee is higher ($35) than most, but drinks and food are free (at least the first two).

What are the differences?

Let's start with price. While the $10-and-under fee is attractive, because it is monthly and not limited, I may see some of the same folks. Are they decisionmakers? Is it too cheap? Perhaps the higher price makes the other event attractive?

The guest list--limited or not, they are different driven by two things: invitation and the host. And also by price. Hey, it's cool to pay more--must be exclusive!

Who attends? In both cases, business leaders and followers from the community. While similar, they are different and are both worth attending. Whether you are a job seeker or someone seeking a business alliance, missing one or the otehr keeps you out of circulation.

But be strategic and think your reasons for attending (or not) through.

Relentless

11 Rules from Bill Parcells

Rules can be applied from many different disciplines to networking. In Sunday's Dallas Morning News, Jean-Jacques Taylor recounted the 11 rules former Cowboys' coach Bill Parcells gave to QB Tony Romo. Some license has been taken, but the intent is similar.

1. Ignore the opinions of others. Like QBs, we all get credit or blame for a variety of things. Know what is important to worry about and what isn't.
2. Have fun, but class clowns can't run a team. Truly, know when to be light and when to be serious.
3. Fat QBs can avoid the rush. OK, keep yourself in shape--mentally and physically--so you can respond to those questions and remember names at events.
4. Know your job cold. Know why you are at an event and your strategy.
5. Know your own players. Wing men (or women) those who are on your support team.
6. Be the same guy every day. Consistency is a key pillar of any brand, particularly your personal brand.
7. Throwing the ball away is a good play. Knowing when to finish a conversation and move on is an art.
8. Learn to manage the game; don't ever lose track of the clock. Every event has a time window; some can fill them and overflow; others are best left early. Know when to leave and when to stay.
9. You're not judged on stats and TD passes; get your team in the end zone. Don't forget the mission and reason you are at an event. The object is to win or finish, not just participate.
10. Don't panic in times of chaos. Be prepared; don't start looking for a job when you've lost one, be on people's radars; keep your cool and it will show.
11. Don't be a celebrity QB. Remember networking isn't really about you--it's about those you meet and converse with. Give and you will get.

Thanks, Mr. Taylor. Great column (see www.Dallasnews.com for the whole column)

Relentless

Social Media and Networking

There are a number of popular press stories lately on social media. Mainstream writers, who haven't already discovered the tool, are now just getting into it and writing about it. And discovering interesting things about themselves, the tools and the reaction to the whole trend.

My neighbor, Rick Wamre, the publisher of Advocate Magazine (www.advocatemag.com) pointed out in his April issues' opening remarks column about how Facebook and Twitter "might hinder us more than they help" us.

He may have a point.

While I am an advocate of social media, many of us are like Rick: note that these things are tools to help you reach out to people, not to shield you from contact. As Rick points out (and he ties the concept well to his lead story), you need to understand the balance of being constantly tethered to "just about anyone and everyone" and being alone and contemplative.

I agree, but with this qualifier: know the balance and strive to achieve it. Like the students the magazine profiled, you need to think in this life. Gather information, study it and take action. Each of those those elements doesn't work well without the other.

A case in point: as a relentless networker, just knowing the events to attend doesn't do any good if you don't go. If you don't have a strategy (study before you go, even), then you're not maximizing the experience. And if you go without knowing the right places to go or why you are going, why go at all?

As with the students in Rick's story, event when you are completely "untethered" you can still make a difference. Think what can be done if you use these tools carefully and strategically.

For Rick's whole column, visit http://www.advocatemag.com/lake-highlands/magazine/Social_media_recluse.html.

Relentless

Remembering and Being Remembered

This past week at the EXHIBITOR Show in Las Vegas, I had a real lesson in remembering and being remembered.

Walking down the aisle in the trade show part of the event, I passed by a company I have known since I started producing trade shows. And who should stride out from the booth but my good friend who had been there at the beginning with me.

As I spoke with my friend, I was reminded of how he was one of the first suppliers I had met in this business. And while we haven't done business with one another in some time, we have stayed in touch.

And staying in touch was the key: he had been connected with me via LinkedIn for the past few years and read my daily updates. "Wow, you are 'The Relentless Networker'," he said to me. (so the moniker has stuck, eh?). He then proceeded to tell me how he needed my help in marketing his firm.

Now that's keeping a fire burning.

All I can say to this is for all of us to keep in touch with as many relevant people as we can on a regular basis. We all know people and you never know when one of them might step forward at the most appropriate time. This, for me and my friend, was one of those times.

Don't burn bridges, build them. And you never know who you will work with or for in this life.

Relentless

Working Receptions

The end of a first day of a conference usually means a welcome reception. At this year's Exhibitor's show in Vegas, it was a good group fueled by fresh ideas and conversation.

Remember a few guidelines when working a room:

1. Be polite, listen and share
2. Always have business cards
3. Spend more time talking and meeting people and less time eating and drinking

Courtesy and manners are always first. Offer your hand, make eye contact, listen to who they are and what they have to say.

If you don't bring and share your business cards, how will you remember who you talked with and how will they remember you?

Connect with old friends and make new friends. Even if the event takes place over the dinner or cocktail hour, this isn't about food and drink. Practice moderation and remember why you are there.

Relentless

Tipping

When I got off the airport parking shuttle yesterday, the drive was there to help me with my bag. The question came up that will come up all this week as I travel to the Exhibitor's Show in Las Vegas:

How to tip and how much?

There are all kinds of guidelines, but the easiest to remember are:

• $1 per bag
• 15% for a restaurant server
• $1 or $2 for the guy hailing a cab for you
• $5 to $10 to the concierge for helping find that right restaurant for your client dinner

Just guidelines, not rules.

Relentless

Is Rome Burning?

It is a time and a realization that comes to all of us: is our Rome burning?

That is to say, is our world changing in front of us? Layoff, job change, divorce, pending breakup--and we aren't paying attention? Or at least paying enough attention?

For all we know, we may be doing just the right things at the right time. Pacing ourselves as the changes come daily.

But don't get too comfortable and complacent. That's when things get real bad. Avoid the "real bad" by taking action and thinking clearly.

Get rest, stay on task, keep up as if things aren't changing. Hell, foreclosures take months to happen. But don't let it come to that--call ahead of time and let them know things have changed. Like any good networking action, you'd be surprised by the positive response.

And about your network: don't be afraid to ask, call, stop by and see the people who you know and trust. And don't wait until you're laid off, fired or alone to start this. Do it now and keep it up.

Rome might be burning, but be sure and notice the flames before they get too big. You might be able to control the fire if you do.

Relentless

Empowerment

It isn't often in this world that we get to do something unique or try something different or invent something. Especially when that something is our job.

I have been particularly blessed in this regard over the past 3 years to work for a company that allowed me to do just that. When Zachry Associates needed to expand their business and brand into the North Texas marketplace, I was there when they asked.

The answer wasn't "no" or even qualified.

That's because they empowered me to find the way. I had to do most of it myself, but they were always there. From a management perspective they:

• Gave me the tools I needed to tell the story.
• Granted me access to their staff and resources.
• Guided me when they saw opportunity and when it was needed.
• Asked, didn't tell me, what to do next.

If more company leaders would act like HC Zachry, there might be more productivity, there might be fewer layoffs and more revenue, there might be stability in the economy.

Now all good things come to an end. We were able to identify the brand clearly in the marketplace and gain a foothold, even in this weird economy. But now it is the next person's turn to take advantage of the groundwork we put out there. Business life is episodes. But that's a topic for another post.

Relentless

Find more and similar content at http://www.zachryinc.com/networking/

Dance with who brung ya: Loyalty

Loyalty is a fleeting if not non-existent thing these days. However, it shouldn't be to relentless networkers or anyone else. It is the secret sauce, the dilithium crystals, the thing that powers all we do.

That and honesty.

Case in point: my own transition experience. Recently, my current employer changed my status with them. That is, I am no longer a salaried employee with benefits, but rather a contract representative. This is due to economic pressures on them.

Rather than get angry, I see this as an opportunity. An opportunity to continue the work we've done together. An opportunity to grow my own business (or not). An opportunity to move on to the next challenge. But because both they and I are looking at this in a sane, adult fashion, rather than a reactionary, angry scenario, we are able to get something constructive accomplished. While it is unfortunate for both sides, it is a fact of today's economy.

This scenario is possible because of the relationship we forged between us from the start. We each set guidelines for the other--and then followed them. While I will no longer be in their employ that doesn't mean (1) they disappear from my network or (2) either of us goes negative on the other (see "burning the bridge you are standing on" in an earlier post).

Loyalty has its cost, but it also, more importantly, has its rewards. In the meantime, anyone looking for a rep for their company or a new full-time employee, please reply. And, if you need a solid agency that knows marketing communications and market research, I know of one.

Relentless

Five unbreakable rules

There are a tremendous number of things we all have to remember as we move through life. But only a handfull are truly unbreakable. Always:

1. Be polite.
2. Return calls.
3. Make eye contact.
4. Have and carry business cards.
5. Keep your resume current.

Well, these are my five unbreakables. Let's take them one by one:

Be polite. Like Mom told you, "do unto others as you have them unto to you." The Golden Rule. People always remember a polite person and never forget a rude one.

Return calls. Somebody (no matter who) takes the time to call you, you need to return the favor. Answer their question.

Make eye contact. People will know you are serious and listening to them.

Business cards. Your calling card is indispensible. "Get back to me" now carries weight because they now know how.

Keep your resume current. There is nothing worse than having to scramble to either make one up or have to search files or your hard drive for the latest version. Your life is a work in progress--make sure the portrait is up to date.

Relentless